16 posts tagged “film reviews”
Yes, I saw a Trailer Park Boys film. And to add to the shame: I enjoyed it. I don't watch the show; however, the trailer for this film cracked me up so I had to see it. The hilarity for me was mostly due to the use of Independent Armored Transport in the film. I work for the government licensing private security guards, so I was really getting a kick out of this.
Sooo, how to review a film like Trailer Park Boys? I guess the "plot" is a cat-loving guy who was in jail comes home to discover his kitties have been picked up by the SPCA. His friends try to help him raise the money to basically buy his cats back. Of course, we're talking about drinking, pot-smoking (and growing in the series), cussing-up-a-storm losers, so naturally it makes more sense to them to try to bust the kitties out of the SPCA. Keyword is "try". The other "plot" is the owner (?) of the trailer park is now managing a newer, nicer park and needs to run their septic line through the trailer of one of the boys. Unfortunately he refuses to sell his trailer to allow the septic line. The manager (Mr. Lahey) used to be an alcoholic and eventually returns to his evil ways less than half-way through the film. Yes, it was funny, but so outrageous that I spent a lot of time staring at the screen in disbelief.
The main problem with the franchise is that there is zero change. No one grows. No one learns anything. All characters are static. In a good, thoughtful film, people change, grow and learn. At least someone, somewhere does. At the end of this film, all of the characters are right back where they started, doing the same things, holding the same beliefs, no better or worse off than before. I did sit through part of an episode after seeing the movie, and it's the same characters in the same clothes doing the same stupid things. It gets old fast.
1. I made a Rainbow Cake. My first attempt was made with diet pop as the recipe suggests, but that didn't work for me at all. So this time I followed the cake mix instructions and got a nice-looking, fully-baked, colourful, edible cake.
Unfortunately it is a mix, so the taste ... not that great. But it is edible. Maybe next time I'll make it from scratch. I'm just not a very good baker.
2. Saw Inglourious Basterds last weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Quentin Tarantino. However, this one was over the top, even for him. It's basically a Jewish revenge fantasy, with a small group of mostly Jewish-Americans taking on the Nazis. They collect their scalps and brand the few they allow to live. There is a big film premiere in a small theatre in France, and all the Nazi big-wigs will be there. Both the Inglourious Basterds and the owner of the theatre are planning to kill Hitler, Borman, Goebbels and the rest of the top tier that night. It's well-acted, well-written and very funny in parts ... but the level of gratiutous violence was a big turn-off. I had to turn my head away more than once. In fact, I couldn't watch the climactic scene in its entirety; it really was a disturbing level of blood and mayhem, serving no obvious purpose.
3. I crocheted a fried egg.
Isn't it adorable? It's for a swap on Ravelry. It's not perfect but I like it, and I miss it already. *Sniff* Amigurumi is the bomb.
[WARNING: SPOILERS] Tried to watch Death Proof last week. We managed to get about halfway through, then gave up. It truly was a tedious, time-warping mess. Crazy guy with stuntman's car kills five drunk/high young women after the audience must spend an hour listening to them blather on and on and on in true Tarantino style. I thought for sure it was the 70s: the cars are old, the clothes are dated, the music is bizarre ... but then one of the girls starts texting. So I guess it's a 70s version of present day. At any rate, you don't know boring until you try to sit through this silliness.
I love Pulp Fiction. I love Reservoir Dogs. Even though Tarantino has disowned it, I love Natural Born Killers. I'm looking forward to seeing Inglourious Basterds once the crowds have died down. But really, the "conversations" these women have aren't even remotely interesting, and having to sit through their rambling and awful dancing for almost 60 minutes only to have them all destroyed by Kurt Russell's death-proof car was, shall was say, infuriating. That's 60 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Then, fast-forward 18 months, and it's four new victims prattling away in a car, and you know they'll end up as so many body parts strewn across the road, so you stop the DVD and save yourself from wasting any more time. The end.
Actually, one good thing came out of that film: I finished my grey afghan!
This is a film that can definitely be summed up in one sentence: A bored office drone decides to cook all of Julia Child's recipes from one of her cookbooks (524 of 'em) in 365 days, and for some reason the writers thought it would be good to throw in some vignettes of Ms. Child's life as well. It's unfortunate they simply didn't make a biography of Child and left this Julie person out of it altogether.
Meryl Streep plays a brilliant Child, even if she does go a bit overboard at times. I doubt the real Julia was so over-the-top 24/7; surely at some point she took a breath and acted like a normal human being. Still, it's a great performance by one of the most versatile actresses in Hollywood. Amy Adams, on the other hand ... she's quite the one-note performer. Granted, I haven't seen many of her films, but of those I have seen (Talladega Nights, Night at the Museum 2, and now Julie & Julia) she plays one type of character: plucky, perky, insufferable. I don't think she's a very good actress as I've yet to see her bring any sort of depth to a character. Perhaps I should rent Doubt and see if she's worth all the attention.
Yes, had this film simply followed Child's rise to fame (keeping Stanley Tucci as her husband) and completely omitted this Julie person, it would have been a very good film. As it is, there are a few laughs, but I really didn't care whether Julie could successfully debone a duck.
Generally speaking, I am not a fan of British comedies. Fawlty Towers is the only exception that comes to mind. (I can quote most of the episodes by heart if you want me to.) I found this film ... okay. I liked the idea behind it, but I'm sick and tired of the ugly fat guy (although he looks barely overweight, but apparently he's supposed to be "fat") getting the beauty. Really, really sick of it. He doesn't even have money, for heaven's sake. At any rate, Simon Pegg is the protagonist who literally runs out on his fiance (Thandie Newton) on their wedding day. Fast-forward five years and as he picks up their son for the day, for some reason he's shocked, shocked I tell you to discover she has a boyfriend (Hank Azaria, lookin' fine). Somehow Simon decides that since Hank is running a marathon, he too will run it to prove he's a responsible adult. Uh-huh.
So he does. I was far more entertained by Simon's best friend, played by Dylan Moran, who likes to go bottomless when he can and bet heavily with his poker buddies on his friend finishing the race.
There were some funny bits, and the ending wasn't too contrived, and I'm not spoiling a thing by telling you he runs the race, finishes it, and Thandie and son think he's so wonderful for doing it (*swoon*).
Moving on ... Seven Pounds. We watched this yesterday while I was just feeling the effects of the Cold from Hell. Having just had the flu I don't see why I'm being picked on here. Anyway, I didn't really watch the beginning of the film; I was reading my new book (more to come on that). However, I did see most of it and I'm glad I made the effort to, you know, put down my book and try to concentrate through the ball of cotton my brain was becoming.
Will Smith is Ben Thomas, an IRS agent who carefully chooses whom he's going to help and whom he's not. This is a very, very slow-moving and quiet film, and it takes a long time for the pieces to come together. My mind wandered during a few scenes, but that could have just been the brain-becoming-cotton problem. At any rate, he falls in love with Emily (Rosario Dawson), a woman with a heart condition, and does more to help her than any human being ever would. In fact, he helps several people in ways most people would not.
It's difficult to describe this film without spoiling it. Suffice to say I found the ending extremely powerful and moving (yeah, cliches, but they fit) and I didn't realize how invested I was in the characters until I reached for the Kleenex.
Here in Canada we had a long weekend thanks to Victoria Day (May 18 this year). Mike and I spent it watching movies, so here are three quick-and-dirty reviews.
First up: Quantum of Solace. I'm only familiar with the Bond films starring Pierce Brosnan, and they were booooring. Daniel Craig's Bond is far more interesting; he gets dirty, partakes in much hand-to-hand combat, rarely smiles and is always on the move. No standing around swanky parties sipping martinis for this Bond. There is no point in trying to explain the plot, other than to say he was looking to avenge the death of his lady love, Vespa, who died in Casino Royale. I will say, however, the theme song for this film by Jack White and Alicia Keys is the worst Bond song I have ever heard.
Next: The House Bunny. Not as funny as I had hoped. Anna Faris is a good actress, but she was difficult to watch in this over-the-top performance. She spent so much time bug-eyed and gasping like a fish out of water I started to feel badly for her. Ex-Playboy Bunny needs a home and ends up as the house mother for a geeky-girl sorority. She turns it around by turning the girls into carbon copies of herself. Her students put up a weak fight before succumbing to hair extensions and six-inch heels. Funny, but could have been so much better.
Last and least: The Day the Earth Stood Still. Remake of older, better film? Check. Plot updated for "the times"? Check. Keanu Reeves acting as if he has no soul? Check. Annoying kid being pulled around by the adults? Check. Older professor mentor (John Cleese this time)? Check. Government rep who just "doesn't get it"? Check. Military trying to kill something it doesn't understand? Check. Is the Earth saved? Yup, unfortunately. I think a much better ending would have been if Klaatu or whatever the alien's name is was unable to stop the destruction, and everyone on Earth died. The end! At least it would have been a surprise ending.
To preface: this is not my type of film. Mike wanted to see it. I would never in a million years spend my own money to see this. That said, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button didn't even come close to meeting my already-very-low expectations. How this film has garnered any favourable reviews I don't know. I think it's really for Forrest Gump fans (and I've successfully avoided that movie since its release in 1994). Incidentally, Eli Roth wrote both Forrest and Button, and you can tell.
I'm sure I don't have to explain the plot to you. An old woman lies dying in a hospital bed and had the foresight to bring diaries, photos and postcards with her for her daughter to read and leaf through for the camera. That was very forward-thinking of her. The story is told through the daughter reading Benjamin's memoir. Throughout the entire almost-three-hour film we are constantly jarred back to the present, the old woman (Cate Blanchett's character, Button's great love) and her daughter in the hospital. They could have saved at least a half-hour by cutting out their insignificant scenes altogether.
Brad Pitt is normally an actor I admire. Unfortunately he uses a gravelly voice from beginning to end of this film, so even when he is supposedly in his twenties he still sounds like an 80-year-old man. Poor Benjamin also appears simple-minded and continually spouts off useless lines very similar to "Life is like a box of chocolates" but not quite. One that comes to mind: "The funny thing about coming home is everything looks the same, sounds the same, smells the same." No kidding! Try to imagine a full movie of this tripe. Roth and director David Fincher try very, very hard to emotionally manipulate the audience, but all they really did was try my patience and unintentionally make me laugh. A lot. The writing is horrible and contrived; I've never seen or heard so many cliches gathered in one place. Don't even rent this mess.
SPOILER ALERT: Another laughable moment: the daughter (Julia Ormond) is informed through reading Benjamin's memoir aloud that he is her biological father. A normal person would be shocked and upset that her mother waited until her deathbed to make this known. Ormond takes 30 seconds to get over this revelation and keep reading. This film should have been marketed as a farce.
So Mike was off today and I left work early as I wasn't feeling well, so I stopped and rented these films to fill our afternoon. I wanted to see Tropic Thunder; Mike wanted to see both. And at least he enjoyed both.
Tropic attempts to depict life on a film set with big-name, big-ego celebs. The film they are shooting is based on a book by a Vietnam vet, so they are on location and more interested in partying and patting themselves on the back than making a good film. Steve Coogan plays a first-time director who can't keep his charges in line: Ben Stiller, washed-out action hero; Robert Downey Jr. (who is brilliant), an Oscar-winning method actor; Jack Black, drug-addicted star of forgettable comedies; and Brandon T. Jackson, who is more interested in selling his own brand of energy drinks ... or something. In order to get a "real" performance from the prima donnas, they are dropped in the jungle with a map. Unfortunately they become butt-lost and meet up with real drug manufacturers along the way. There are plenty of cameos, plus further proof that Tom Cruise should consider a career in comedy.
I laughed my butt off through this film. What could be another dumb comedy is saved by the amazing cast and smart script. Robert Downey Jr. had tears running down my cheeks. I made so much noise Buddy jumped from my lap. Truly a ridiculously fun comedy. Makes me glad I'm far removed from Hollywood.
Hancock ... not so much fun. I personally found it quite boring until about two-thirds through. Will Smith is Hancock, a reluctant superhero. He saves the life of a PR exec (Jason Bateman), who then takes Hancock in hand to help him with his public image (he's a sloppy drunk who causes a lot of damage when he saves people). Charlize Theron plays Bateman's wife, and director Peter Berg ensures the audience knows without a doubt that Theron and Smith have a *history* from the first moment the camera pans to her. It's eyerollingly bad in spots, and for some reason Theron is dressed as a Hooking Housewife in certain scenes. This film has an interesting angle that I can't reveal as it would spoil things, but suffice to say the subplot should have been the real plot, and the film should have been a fantasy-drama with a completely different cast. Hancock is unsure if it should be funny, dramatic or a tear-jerker. There is a glimmer of a real, intriguing story underneath ... but the script is crap and even Smith can't save this mess.
Mike and I rented a couple of movies this weekend - one for me and one for him. You can probably guess before reading further which was for him. ;-)
Let's get Iron Man out of the way first. Robert Downey Jr. is a big-shot industrialist whose company makes and sells weapons. He is abducted in Afghanistan while on a sales trip and, while in captivity with another prisoner, builds an iron armour to escape. Once back in the US he decides his company will no longer manufacture weapons, he recreates his armour, his enemies steal his technology, Gwyneth Paltrow is his girl Friday, yada yada yada. I was bored to tears during this film. Fortunately Downey looked extremely hot so at least I had some eye candy. Lots of funky gadgets, fancy cars and talking computers. Definitely a guy movie.
On to funner stuff. The Orphanage is a Spanish film produced by one of my favourite directors, Guillermo del Toro. It was actually directed by Juan Antonio Bayona, who has apparently directed a lot of Spanish music videos. Don't let that put you off what is a very chilling, goosebump-inspiring film reminiscent of The Ring. Laura (Belén Rueda) returns to her childhood home with her husband and adopted son. Adopted herself, Laura grew up in an orphanage. She and her husband decide to turn it into a home for special-needs children. Their son, Simón, has two imaginary friends. Soon after moving to the old house, he acquires six more. These friends, however, are not imaginary.
Without giving too much away, Simón disappears during their opening party. Desperate to find her son, Laura is haunted by the presence of the children who lived in the orphanage when she was a girl. Laura was adopted to a loving family; these kids weren't so lucky. There is more than one scene that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. This is the sort of film one watches during the day with all the lights on; otherwise you may never fall asleep. Unforgettable, well-acted and a wonderful script by Sergio G. Sánchez.
I was rather hoping against hope that the film would have my version of a happy ending: the girl not only gets the guy, but the guy accepts her for who she is. They only get it half right.
Penelope stars Christina Ricci and skinny little James McAvoy with a minor role for Reese Witherspoon thrown in. Penelope (Ricci) has inherited the family curse, giving her a pig's snout which will only disappear when she is loved by someone of blue blood, like herself. Her mother (Catherine O'Hara) interprets this to mean she must marry a blue blood and hires a consultant to play matchmaker. Unfortunately every man who lays eyes on her runs away - literally. Oddly, she's not that bad looking at all, and her nose is pretty cute.
Enter Max (James McAvoy), who is hired by a reporter to snap a pic of the mysterious Penelope (did I mention her parents faked her death and kept her locked up in the house for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS? Yeah, it's a fairy tale, so we'll roll with it). McAvoy wold be cute if he gained 20 pounds and grew five inches. Anyhoo, of course he is the only one to not run away. However, the romance doesn't blossom until much later in the film.
Ricci runs away from home, meets up with Witherspoon who is apparently a courier, and learns to love herself. I'm not spoiling anything by revealing that she does lose her pig's snout and gets the guy. The last 20 minutes or so of the film are too outlandish and disappointing, even for a fairy tale. I personally would have much prefered to learn the curse was fiction and Max fell for her, snout and all. Alas, that is a true fairy tale - a woman being accepted as is.
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